Authenticity

Can you tell us about a recent memorable experience you had?
I went to Berlin for four months for my exchange semester, and it was fun. But to be honest, every single one of my experiences feel both good and bad to me—it’s never just one or the other, so there hasn’t been a single amazingly good experience to me, which is kind of sad.

Anyway, I chose to go to Berlin mostly because of the queer scene and how people are more accepting there. I do find that people there are boliao (idle) in a way that they’ll just decide to go to the park and read a book on a whim, whereas people here in Singapore go to Orchard and shop just to fill their day.

I mean, I know consumerism is everywhere, but the people that I’ve met in Berlin aren’t really into the whole capitalism shit. It’s very community-based there, whereas people are more competitive and selfish here. But it could be that I’m just not meeting the right people here.

Do you see yourself moving to Berlin someday?
Oh, yes, or maybe anywhere in Europe. But I really love my community of friends in Singapore. I think the best solution is to bring people in Singapore to Berlin with me (laughs).

Come to think about it, most adults I know who are in the corporate world spend half of their life in a CBD office working and just eating dabaoed caifan (takeaway economy rice). I don’t want to do that, bro. I want to be in a park being boliao, reading a book, you know what I mean? Of course, I know that office life is for some people, and it blows my mind how much they love it. But, wow, I could never do that.

We heard that you organise parties on the side. Can you tell us more about that?
I’ve only been doing this for about a year. For me, it’s more of a community thing. I think out of all the parties that I know of, and all the raves that I’ve been to in Singapore, my audience is the youngest. I’m not super up there in terms of knowledge because I’m also still learning as I go, but I feel quite grounded in a way that I can help people younger than me because I’ve been where they’re at.

Sometimes, I also feel like the princess of the party scene because older party organisers would take care of me and help me along the way with whatever questions I have and just be there for me, so that’s very sweet.

Is there a motto that you live by?
Happy can already!

In Berlin, I felt a little isolated and sometimes yearned for parental figures. This is why I kept thinking about my mom’s metaphor of a jigsaw puzzle—that you need to step away from the box for a while and look at it from a wider point of view instead of focusing so intensely and anxiously on each piece.

When it comes to spiralling and having negative thoughts, I feel like sometimes, you just need to sit with your feelings and let yourself spiral a little bit, but then you have to learn to put it aside. Your feelings are valid, but girl, we’ve got more important things to do than spiral. We can spiral for one hour, two hours, but let’s not make it one week, let’s do other things!