Fashion for Cancer x Shentonista – Beyond The Self

When you were diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer, what was the first thought that ran through your mind?
“Why me? Why did this happen?” I was not prepared for this 25 years ago. You see, I was 40 years old, and my two sons were so young back then—my elder one was in Primary 6, and my younger one in Primary 3. I also didn’t know how to go back and tell my wife about it, so I stayed outside for a few hours after receiving my diagnosis. It took a lot of courage just to tell her, and when I was ready, I told her “It’s okay, these things happen. But don’t worry, because I will fight it for you and our two children.” It took me a while lah, a few days to come to terms with it.

It must’ve been so difficult having to stay strong for your family while coming to terms with the diagnosis yourself. Now that it’s been 25 years, do you find that you have a new energy or zest for life?
Ya, of course! Gradually, my life perspective totally changed. Before I was diagnosed, I was working, working, working all the time. I was in the rat race ah, just trying to earn a living without taking much care of myself or thinking about my family. But since my diagnosis, I realised family and health really come first. Yes, money is important, but without health, you can’t enjoy anything. So these days, I let go of things very easily. Anger management, you know? I take life very easy because every day is a blessing to me.

It’s true, we often get so caught up in the rat race that we neglect what truly matters! Going back to your journey with cancer, how did you approach life with a countdown looming in the back of your mind?
With the thought of only having six months to live, I knew I had to prepare what I could. I went to CPF Board to withdraw all of my CPF funds because they let you do that with a valid medical reason, and did some financial planning. And, of course, I tried to spend every day with my family. It’s a different kind of feeling lah, slowing down and knowing that every moment counts.

I really tried to fight against the cancer though. I had an oxygen tank at home and had to walk around with a walking stick, but I still tried to do body weight exercises slowly. I also tried to go outside every morning and evening for a walk. Call it willpower or a struggle, but I just liked having something to look forward to rather than feeling sad or pitiful. I also changed my diet totally and looked forward to getting better each day.

It seems you really changed your life because of this. Whether it’s mentally or physically, in which aspect of your life or being did you see the biggest change?
Everything involves the mind, body, and soul all in one, so I suppose the biggest change happened across all three of these aspects. Spiritually, I’m a Christian and I pray every day. We are human and our power is limited, so we do what we can and leave the rest to God. That’s how I feel lah. It’s a blessing that my whole family also came to Christianity, so this I would say is one of the biggest things.

That’s so nice to hear! We understand that back when you were diagnosed, you had no support system to lean on or seek advice from. What did you wish you had known back then, or wish you’d done differently?
Oh (laughs), the main thing is I wish I had kept my insurance plan! I actually had one, but I cancelled it one year before my diagnosis because I thought I didn’t need it. Unfortunately, I ended up needing it, but it was too late for me. Because of this, I faced a lot of financial difficulty. I had to sell my house—an executive apartment—and downgraded to a 4-room flat, which I eventually had to sell again and downgrade further to a rental flat. My family and I ended up renting and moving around for about 15 years. In fact, we only settled down about six years ago. All of this wouldn’t have happened if I had insurance.

We’re glad you’ve managed to find some stability after such a long, trying time. For cancer patients who are navigating this journey alone, what is some advice that you would share?
Join a support group. When I was diagnosed in 2000, I didn’t know where to go because there were no support groups at all, but now, it’s totally different! There are so many support groups out there, even those specific to your type of cancer. You can go online and look them up.

And also, just remember that there are more things that we can look forward to in life. As long as you wake up feeling fresh and healthy, always thank God. If adversity doesn’t kill you, it makes you stronger.

Inspiring! On the topic of health, you’re now a personal trainer. Is this the healthiest you’ve ever felt?
Yes, yes, of course! I feel great now! You know, I lost 20kg because of my cancer, so it’s really a kind of body transformation for me now, hor? And it’s not only the body, like I said, it’s about the mind and soul too because they all work together holistically. This is why you have to take care of your diet and nutrition, and also sleep and manage stress well. These are all the things you need to stay healthy.

We love that for you! Throughout your journey with cancer and recovery, has your relationship with your children changed in any way?
Oh, our relationship has of course changed, but for the better. My cancer was life-changing not only for me, but for them as well, because seeing their father struggle through it to now live a healthy life, they would’ve learned a lot about persistence. I would say I’m a good example to tell them that they can’t take their health for granted lah, hor? And I’m very glad and blessed that they aren’t just doing quite well, but very well. One of them is a lawyer in one of the big four firms, and the other one is a civil servant. So I would say my cancer was a blessing in disguise after all.

That’s a really sweet perspective. Finally, what is one thing you’d want others to take away from your story?
You are not alone. These days, there are many ways of looking for support, so don’t worry about it, because worrying can’t solve anything. It’s human to face adversity, and life goes on, so go ahead and do what you have to do, and keep looking forward instead of staying stagnant and worrying about death. Cancer is no longer a death sentence, so be strong, and be a good fighter, because nothing is impossible.

This is a feature for Fashion for Cancer 2025, spotlighting 5 cancer survivors and warriors. Founded by Ong Bee Yan, Fashion for Cancer is a charity fashion show aimed at raising funds for cancer research and financial aid. Support the cause on 13 September 2025 at The Westin Singapore—get your tickets here.