Fashion for Cancer x Shentonista – Sum Of A Whole

When you were diagnosed with breast cancer, what was the first thought that ran through your mind?
That I couldn’t have kids. At the time, which is just over 10 years ago now, I very much wanted to have a family of my own. My husband and I had already been trying and failing to conceive for some time before I was diagnosed, but when I received the diagnosis it all made sense to me. It was like my body was rejecting having a baby because I was sick.

Can you tell us more about the type of breast cancer that you were diagnosed with?
ER-positive breast cancer is one of the more common types of breast cancers that grows with hormones, so if you’re stressing your body out frequently, you’re more likely to get it. Unfortunately, before I was diagnosed, I was working a very stressful job, training for a marathon, and my mum had also received her own breast and lung cancer diagnosis, so my body was really overworked juggling all of this.

That must’ve been such a trying time, not only for yourself, but for your family as well. How did you navigate all of this emotionally?
Oh yeah, completely! But what helped me was the fact that my mum turned her illness and suffering into a positive thing by helping me get through treatment. Going through something like this with someone who is so close to me and has lived through it really helped me mentally and physically. This is why, following that, I’ve offered my guidance to other people that have been diagnosed subsequently, to share how I’ve gotten through it and how they can too.

As women, we’re often taught to value our physical appearance a lot. Did losing your hair reshape your understanding of womanhood and beauty in any way?
Absolutely. I had long, dark hair, but I never thought hair was important to me at all, so it was surprising that when I started losing my hair, I felt like I had no control left. So what I decided to do was to to shave all of my hair off, and my husband actually did it with me in solidarity, which helped because it felt like someone was holding my hand through it all.

In terms of womanhood, I don’t think appearances mean as much to me as it did in my 20s and 30s. Now it’s all about health, getting stronger, and being a light for my family. It no longer matters if I’m overweight, if I’m the prettiest girl, or if I’m the ugliest girl—what matters most is showing my kids that they can be the strongest person in times of trouble.

People often ask me how I got through it, but because it was my first diagnosis, I didn’t know anything different, you know? How I see it is that it’s just part of my story. Yes, I now see myself as being cancer-free, as being healthy and strong, but it isn’t all that I am. I wouldn’t just put “Cancer Sufferer” or “Mother” or “Worker” or “Lawyer” on my tombstone, you know? It’s simply a part of my life, and I’ve learnt from it. I’ve grown stronger and bigger since then, but it doesn’t define the person that I am.

That’s a lovely perspective! And on the topic of moving forward, you and your husband took two months off to travel and live your lives, which for most working adults is a scary thing to do. What would you say to someone who’s been wanting to do this, but is hesitating out of fear or because of certain responsibilities?
For us, my diagnosis was a wake up call. I’d gone through a lot of stress in the year leading up to my diagnosis, and actually getting diagnosed made me realise that life can stop just like that. So my husband and I wanted to take the time to create new memories and not let my life simply revolve around cancer. So we decided to give up our jobs and take a sabbatical.

Of course, we had our doubts. We’d tell ourselves “Oh, we don’t have enough money, we’ve got to pay our mortgage, we’ve got to do all of these other stuff for our family,” but past a certain point, we realised that we just wanted to be present and live our lives the way we’ve always wanted to.

So it was a leap of faith, but taking those two months off was the best feeling ever. It’s something that we’d really recommend, even if you’re not going through any kind of trauma. In fact, I actually think it’s good to pause and do what you want to do, even if it’s just for a short period of time. Because work, family, responsibilities, they’ll all come back to you eventually. So why not take those few months off? If I could do it again, I would’ve taken a whole year off (laughs)! So to everyone hesitating, I’d say if you want to go and see the world, go tomorrow. No, go yesterday (laughs). And even if you take this leap of faith and realise that it was a mistake, at the end of the day, it’s just a decision, right? Whatever mistakes you make in life, there’s always room to pivot to make another decision.

That’s very brave, and also very inspiring—we’re taking notes ourselves! Going back to the topic of fear and hesitation, what’s your advice for other cancer patients who are unsure of who or where to turn to?
Don’t use Google! No Doctor Google or ChatGPT, please. The first thing I did when I received my diagnosis was to go online and read up on all of the side effects, and all of the issues with the drugs that I was getting prescribed, and basically what I learned from that was that I’d be dead in six months. So don’t rely on any of that—rely on the experts instead. And if you’re unsure, always get a second opinion, because the opinion of one expert could be very different from another.

We hear you, and we also hear that you’re a mum now! Has your journey with cancer shaped the way you’re raising your kids today?
I view my role as a mother the same way my own mum was to me. To us, it’s not about working yourself to the ground, but about working smart and building the best life that you can, and creating memories along the way. For example, my family and I have just gone on holiday over the summer break, and I could’ve easily taken my kids’ schoolbooks with us because they have homework and need to study, which is important, yes, but we’re only in Spain once, and we’re only on the beach once, you know? So I say, enjoy your life and be present.

We love that perspective! Finally, what’s the one thing you’d like others to take away from your story?
That nothing is impossible. If you want to have a family after treatment, you can. There are ways and means to do it. And there is life after cancer—a really good life.

This is a feature for Fashion for Cancer 2025, spotlighting 5 cancer survivors and warriors. Founded by Ong Bee Yan, Fashion for Cancer is a charity fashion show aimed at raising funds for cancer research and financial aid. Support the cause on 13 September 2025 at The Westin Singapore—get your tickets here.